


Essential

by Mira



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-06
Updated: 2010-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-05 22:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mira/pseuds/Mira





	Essential

It starts in New Zealand, of course; everything starts in New Zealand. Dom often says that, to journalists and friends and family, because it's true: Everything started in New Zealand. Everything changed in New Zealand.

New Zealand was the first time he'd been made so aware of the world around him. Sometimes he wonders if his allergies are part of it -- that the tiny particles of pollen that so plague him aren't just another kind of emissary speaking to him. Billy asks him if he's taken his allergy tablets when he says that, though; Billy understands a great deal, but he's not entirely sympathetic. "Not normal," he says. Dom says, "T'is too normal; nothing could be more normal." "Bollocks," Billy says.

Lighe thinks it's brilliant, wonderful. He jumps with pleasure when it happens and Dom likes that quite a lot. "Brilliant!" Lighe'll say, beaming at him, throwing his arms around Dom, holding his hand to lead him on. "Who? Where? Where next?"

Sean doesn't like to talk about it. He'll listen, of course, but change the subject, talking about something that happened when he was a sprog, or about politics, or anything. Dom thinks it has something to do with Sean's daughter Ali, who adores Dom, simply worships him, and for whom Dom wants to be as wonderful as Ali thinks he is. He isn't, he knows, and Billy makes sure he knows, but he desperately tries to live up to the image of Dom that lives in Ali's heart. He thinks Ali would understand, that Ali might even already know, but he keeps silent around her out of respect for her father. Whom Dom also loves, he admits, even though Sean can annoy the hell out of Dom.

Viggo knows. He was the one who pointed it out to Dom years ago, not long after he first arrived in New Zealand to take Stuart's place. Dom liked Viggo instantly; well, who doesn't? He's mostly silent until he speaks and then he says the most extraordinary things, quite baffling to a young Berlin-born Englishman, however sophisticated he might think himself. But intriguing and charming and the day he turned to Dom and said, "You heard that, yeah?" Dom's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Billy said, "For fuck's sake, don't encourage the lad." Lighe said, "What? What? What?" Sean didn't say anything, but looked disapprovingly at them all and took Lighe away by the hand.

After a startled intake of breath, Dom said, "Yeah, but how? Did you?"

Viggo shrugged. "I can't hear it, but I know it's always going on. Huh." Then he tackled Sean Bean, knocking him arse over tits.

Billy said, "Don't let that lunatic Yank give you any ideas, Dominic, or you and me'll have quite a serious talk."

Dom nodded; he was used to obeying Billy, but inside he knew Vig was right. He had heard it. He had. That Billy didn't want to know hurt a bit, but they were young, it was early days, yeah, so he'd say nothing right now.

Billy slapped Dom once, in those early days when he had tried to talk about it. It frightened Billy, he saw. Billy was easily frightened though good at looking and talking tough. Those days in the Glasgow slums, motherless and fatherless, with only his sister and grandma to care for him, they'd toughened Billy right up, more than Dom liked to admit to himself, but inside Billy was, Dom knew, always always scared. So he accepted the slap, and then accepted Billy's apologies and embraces and kisses; he hugged and kissed Billy right back.

After that, Billy believed, too, and he'd let Dom natter on about it for a while, but then after a bit he'd say, "Just can't be normal, Dom, not like that, no," the "oh" in his "no" lingering on with a hint of uncertainty in it. Dom would hug Billy then and reassure him. "It is what it is, yeah, Bill? The world is normal, right? And this is just part of the world. So it's normal, too, as normal as you and me. Course, we're not all that normal, and the world's pretty fucked, too, so maybe you shouldn't be worried about normal, yeah?"

Billy would nod, but his eyes would be hooded with doubt, so Dom would kiss him until the fear left him and his blood would be up along with his prick, messing about until someone walked in or they fell into bed. Billy loves Dom, so. Yeah.

Sean loves Dom, too, but not like that, or he wouldn't admit to it like that at first. Sometimes Dom would be quite stern with Sean; he can say his name in way like no other and he settles right down, earning Dom a grateful look from Lighe and sometimes from PJ. Sean and Dom kiss quite a bit later on as they know each other better, and as Sean grows more honest, with himself and with the others, admitting to Dom how much he needs Dom's presence. "You're, like, grounding or something," he says, and Dom nods. "You keep me grounded, and not so scared." Like with Billy, only different, Dom thinks even now, all these years later when he kisses Sean hello.

"What's it like?" Lighe asks him late one night late in the pickups for _Return._ They lie under the stars in PJ's back garden, a bit tiddly, happy to be back in NZ, happy to be together again. "Do you hear it now? Now? When?"

"Always," Dom tells him; by then it's true. It had started in New Zealand, but now the whole world speaks to him, and even the southern stars. When he'd gone home, back to Manchester, the world there spoke to him, too; it wasn't just New Zealand. "Like singing, only quieter."

"Words?"

"Nah. Well, not usually, but sometimes. Those birds, on the wind farm, remember? They were shouting about the blades, keep away, keep out, that sort of thing. But usually not."

"Stars?"

"A hum. Very deep. Makes the earth vibrate."

"Mmmmmmm," Lighe hums softly. "Mmmm."

"Yeah, sorta. Softer, though, and deeper. And constant."

"Stars are always out. I saw them from the bottom of a well once, when I was making _The War._"

"So they are, and they always hum, but it's less clear in the day. The sun, y'know, has its own sound."

"Hmmmm?"

"Not sure how to describe it, Doodle. Bigger and more diffuse."

"Cool."

He takes Lighe's little hand and holds it, stroking the ragged fingers; even in the dark, he can tell that they're nicotine stained. He brings the hand to his mouth and kisses it. Lighe rolls onto his stomach and rests his head in Dom's thigh. They lie there a long time, listening.

In dirty Glasgow, Billy takes him to a park. They're famous now and can't be too silly, much as it pains Dom. It's become normal to be recognized wherever they go. But deep in the park, away from prying eyes, he takes Billy's hand and they stroll slower and slower, until they reach a small brook. The air smells fresh, like new-born oxygen, and the water like iron and rain.

Dom looks around carefully, listening hard, and then pulls Billy to him to kiss and fondle. "You're daft," Billy murmurs between kisses, but he doesn't resist.

"Been so long," Dom sighs, nuzzling Billy's neck and ear, nibbling at the tender lobe. "Missed you so much."

"Ah, Dom, Dommie, never do I stop missing you, even when you're here."

"Listen, Billy, listen. You can always hear me. Can't you hear? I can hear you from Hawaii, the way the air moves around you and over your body, even through your hair." He ruffles Billy's thinning hair. "I hear your breath. There's a mouse in your flat; he likes the crumbs you leave for him. And your sister's dog, too; I can hear him when you visit, panting in joy when you scratch his tum."

"Dom, Dom," Billy shakes his head, but Dom see he's blushing and trying not to smile.

"S'true, Bill. I hear it all. Otherwise I'd go barmy being away from you so long. But when I lie down to sleep, I close my eyes and I can hear you so clearly, breathing." He puts his mouth next to Billy's ear. "I can hear you panting when you're pulling off."

Billy turns swiftly and kisses Dom, hard. "Don't care if it's true or not anymore," he says, holding Dom's head in his hands, stroking his thumbs over Dom's cheeks. "Just care that you think you do, that it means that much to you."

"You mean that much to me. You're always with me, like the stars humming above and the stream here laughing, and the horse Vig brought back from Morocco. They all talk to me, and they all say your name."

"Viggo's horse knows my name?"

"Silly." Dom kisses Billy's smile. "The universe knows your name; I told it. I tell it every day. Like the rosary, ya know? Each breath, every breath, is Billy and Billy and Billy."

"Idiot," he says, still smiling, and kisses Dom quiet.

Dom's phone rings. "Shut up," Viggo says, laughing. "How'm I gonna get any work done with you two so noisy?"

"Piss off," Billy says into the phone, laughing and kissing Dom. "Isn't normal."

Dom shuts the phone and puts it away. "As normal as you an' me."

* * *

Posted June 1, 2007


End file.
